Protecting Innocence

One of the most precious commodities in humankind is innocence. We are all born with it, and then gradually as we grow and become tainted by the world, we start to lose it. In adult society innocence is not necessarily accepted, as it is so often confused for inexperience and ignorance.

This week, while we were away on holiday, the domestic worker who came to help us for the day was attacked on her way home. She was so innocent- walking down a gravel road to wait for her transport after a day of laborious cleaning. What she had with her, was her handbag, her cellphone and her newly acquired ID card. For these insignificant things someone thought it a fair trade to leave her with six stab wounds, one in the lung.

The next morning as dawn broke, we were up to see whether we could find any of her belongings in the veld. Walking down the gravel road with my kids- protecting their innocence by telling them we just need to go look for someone’s lost property.

In the grass outside the gate, I could see the blood where she collapsed, exhausted after running all the way back for help. Further down is the bush where her attacker was waiting. Snare tight, ready to pounce.

And in between all the footprints I see the tracks of little deer, and pheasants and I see the smallest flowers starting to appear. Innocence covering the injustice, the cruelty, the fear.

And then I see my children’s footprints and I think of all the children that I work with. What are we doing to protect their innocence? Are we valuing their innocence as the world’s antidote to all the cruelty, all the harshness, all the exploitation and unfairness?

She is in hospital and stable, the trauma she will have to heal from, far after her wounds have healed. They may leave marks. And the marks of the innocent? Tomorrow they will be gone with a gust of wind, and then new marks will appear. Teeny tiny, almost imperceptible marks, whispering of goodness, of second chances, of love and kindness.

For me innocence will always be something of beauty, something to be protected, something to be cherished. Something to celebrate, to prioritize, to defend. Because without it, the harshness of this world will become too much too bear. The heartache too heavy to carry.

Tomorrow I will go down that same road, I will walk past the blood marks, I will not look at the bushes in fear. I will look for the hoofprints, the flowers, the bird tracks and I will hold that in my heart, with the belief that innocence remained.