The lost art of leisure

I had the privilege of going on vacation with my family in the Eastern Free State this year. While there we stumbled upon a rare treasure – a place where time stands still and you are transported back to life in its simpler, slower form. Wyndford Holiday Farm is nestled against the mountains, bordering the Caledon river, as it has been since the 1920’s. The magic of the place lies not only in its beautiful surroundings, but at how it invites you to partake in the art of leisure. When you walk on the well-trodden paths, you stumble upon a library – covered in ivy, or farther along you will find a games room filled with puzzles and boardgames. You can try your hand at bowls, or tennis or volleyball – or even chess on the lawn. The children can feed the turtles or rabbits, or go on a horseback-ride. Of course, you can go for a hike next to the river or into the mountains, or take your bike and disappear between the trees.  At night a huge bonfire and tables beckon you into connecting with family and friends. As I stood amazed at this place and everything it subtly offered, I felt an ache – because I have lost the art of leisure.

As children we occupy our time through play, we learn and develop through play, we socialize through play. And somewhere along the line, we trade play for work – but we are supposed to keep on ‘playing’ albeit in a different way. We sacrifice leisure on the altar of productivity and responsibility – who has time to play a boardgame when dinner needs to be prepared, or time to read a riveting book when you have invoices to send out? Or how often do we trade our leisure for hours of meaningless screentime, that gives momentary satisfaction, but leaves us unfulfilled and drained?

Nowadays leisure is an art – we have unlearnt how to fill our free time (although limited) with meaningful activities that ground us, connect us, inspire us and fulfil us. I ask myself the question -are we losing more than just leisure – are we losing a part of our humanity with it?

As an occupational therapist I was trained to look at a person’s occupational performance areas – one of which is leisure. Having a balanced life is the key to good health. Leisure is crucial to our well-being and mental health. It provides an outlet for negative emotions, it helps with body and mind integration, it can connect us socially and provide an effective way of stress relief. Think of the person picking up a paintbrush, dipping it into a rich array of paint and making the first stroke on a blank canvas, or the person taking a shovel and digging a hole in the ground, lovingly placing a single seed before carefully covering it, or the person taking a walk in nature, feeling the crunch of autumn leaves beneath their feet and inhaling the scent of nature. It sounds idyllic, doesn’t it? It sounds life-giving to me.

I recently bought a book –‘The power of fun’, written by Catherine Price, where she TEACHES you how to have fun through leisure and social activities. We need to be retaught because having fun is a skill that we have lost. No wonder we have higher statistical rates of mental health disorders than ever before. Our to-do lists are bursting at its seams, we are bombarded with social media and a myriad of screentime options at our fingertips, every second of every day is already filled, we are running at neck-breaking speed – I want to shout STOP STOP STOP. Reset. Relax. Relearn that which we have forgotten about. Find something that connects you, that grounds you, that unwinds you – and make time for it.

I went through a year of severe illness, and in the middle of it I decided to start horse-riding with my son. I have been terrified of horses since I was thrown off as a teenager, but I needed something that took my mind off what I was going through. It made such an impact on my life. Connecting with my horse every week, soaking in his smell, learning his cues and earning his trust. That was a life-saver to me. When my husband was retrenched, friends of ours gifted us a puzzle to take our mind off worrying. I built that puzzle in one weekend and it was bliss. Maybe leisure activities are like life-lines that are thrown to us as we are jolted around in the stormy ocean of our every-day lives. Maybe we need to start looking out for these life-lines and grab hold of them to pull us into calmer waters.

When I work with a child, I focus on the child’s needs and how to support and accommodate them. When I was younger, I often overlooked the tired and worn-out mother that sat in my therapy room – trying to keep it all together and badly needing a break. I came to realize that the family is just as important as the child – it is the parent-child relationship in which the therapy process gets imbedded. I had to shift my focus to support the parents just as much as the child, and one of the ways is to ask about, and encourage leisure. To help them see the life-lines that they so desperately need – and deserve. Let’s face it, parenting is hard and constant.

I wish I could write this blog on an old type-writer, hitting the keys extra hard to make an imprint, rhythmically – like music, smelling the ink and feeling the silky paper between my fingers. I would like to put it in an envelope for you and seal it with a bright red wax seal and write your name on it. I want to walk to the post office and post it in a bright red post box. I would like you to receive it on a day where you feel tired and stressed out, make yourself a cup of tea and sit on a comfy chair in the winter sun. I hope you will read it and think about when you have lost the art of leisure, and allow yourself to find it once again. Look for your life-line, grab hold of it, make time for it and allow yourself a leisurely moment of pure, life-giving leisure.